From ancient legends, the modern custom to kiss under a suspended sprig of the winterberries, mistletoe continues from generation to generation. Mistletoe in the winter has green leaves and white or red berries, depending on the species. Many early cultures considered mistletoe a sacred plant, and numerous myths grew up around it.
The Mythology Lore
A famous legend in mistletoe folklore comes from Norse mythology. Baldur was one of the most beloved of all the gods. He was the son of Odin the chief of the gods, and the benevolent sorceress goddess of love Frigg.
Baldur was the husband of Nanna, a goddess of joy and peace, and the father of Forseti, a god of justice and reconciliation. He is the god of joy and beauty, with a peaceful nature, joy, and purity, and he is loved by all the gods and beings in one of the Nine Realms–the Asgardians from the Realm of the Aesir. He was said to be so handsome and noble that light shone from his body and even the flowers bowed before him as he passed by. His half-brothers are Hodor, Thor, Vidar, Tyr, Heimdall, Hermod, and Bragi.
Baldur began having recurring nightmares of his death. His mother, Frigg, worried that her son’s dream prophesied his eventual fate, sought to take oaths that made everything in the world swear not to harm her son. This made Baldur invulnerable to deadly threats. However, she overlooked the mistletoe, deeming it too young and innocent to make an oath.
Loki, who had a strong and envious hatred for Baldur, was jealous of the attention and affection that Baldur received from the other gods, and was further angered that Baldur boasted an ability akin to immortality. Treacherous Loki disguised himself as a woman and discovered from Frigg that the mistletoe had never given an oath not to harm Baldur.
The scheming god Loki made a weapon from mistletoe, which is described in many texts as a dart, twig, or arrow. When the Asgardian gods amused themselves by throwing objects at Baldur, knowing that he was immune from harm, Loki gave the weapon he had fashioned from mistletoe, and gave it to Baldur’s blind brother Hodor. Loki placed the weapon in the hands of Hodor, and tricked him by encouraging him to throw the weapon. Hodor threw the weapon at Baldur and the second it touched him, Baldur died.
After Frigg lost her son Baldur, to an arrow made of mistletoe, her tears over her dead son became the berries of the plant, and she vowed not only that it would never again be used as a weapon but also that she would kiss anyone who passed beneath it.
According to a happier version of the myth, the gods were able to resurrect Baldur from the dead. Delighted, Frigg then declared mistletoe a symbol of love and vowed to plant a kiss on all those who passed beneath it.
Knower of the Oak – Third Century BCE
A messenger of the gods, the “missel thrush” was employed by ancient tribes, the Druids, the Celts and Germans. The gods, whose messenger the mistletoe represented, were the same the gods the Greeks and the Romans worshiped.
Kissing under sprigs of mistletoe is a well-known holiday tradition, but this little plant’s history as a symbolic herb dates back thousands of years. The Greeks used it as a cure from menstrual cramps to spleen disorders, and Roman naturalist Pliny the Elder noted it could be used as a balm against epilepsy, ulcers, and poisons.
The mistletoe’s romantic overtones may have begun with the Celtic Druids of the 1st century BCE. Since mistletoe could blossom anywhere even during the harsh winter months. The Druids regarded it as a sacred symbol of vivacity, and believed in its healing properties. The mistletoe was used to treat a myriad of ailments; it was also administered to humans and animals in the hope of restoring fertility. The only thing they did not do was to kiss under it.
When the Celtic Druids found a rare species of mistletoe growing in oak trees, they believed it to have sacred powers, including the ability to heal illnesses, protect against nightmares, and even predict the future. The Druids would collect it during the summer and winter solstices, and were most likely the first to use mistletoe to decorate homes.
Classical Antiquity Era
The association of mistletoe with love and kisses dates back to Greek and Roman marriage ceremonies. The tradition of hanging clumps of mistletoe began during the Roman winter holiday Saturnalia, and later in marriage ceremonies, because of the plant’s association with fertility. During the Roman era, enemies at war would reconcile their differences under the mistletoe, which to them represented peace. Romans also decorated their homes and temples with mistletoe in midwinter to please their gods.
The tradition of kissing under the mistletoe started in ancient Greece, during the Festival of Kronia. Kronia was an Athenian festival that celebrated the harvest season, and the father god Kronos, the Greek equivalent of Saturn. It was celebrated in late midsummer.
The Middle Ages Through Age of Enlightenment
The tradition of kissing underneath mistletoe began during the Middle Ages, when Scandinavian people shared stories of the Nordic gods.
It’s not exactly clear when mistletoe became associated with Christmas, but by the 18th century, it was a well-established part of wintertime holiday celebrations. According to one tradition, women caught under mistletoe had to return any kiss, or would not receive any marriage proposals for an entire year.
Mistletoe’s associations with fertility and vitality continued throughout the Middle Ages, and by the 18th century, it had become widely incorporated into Christmas celebrations. When it changed from sacred herb to holiday romance is unknown, but the kissing tradition appears to have first caught on among servants in England before spreading to the middle classes.
As part of the early custom, men were allowed to steal a kiss from any woman caught standing under the mistletoe, and refusing was viewed as bad luck. Another tradition instructed the merrymakers to pluck a single berry from the mistletoe with each kiss, and to stop kissing once the berries were all gone. People would also stand under mistletoe trying to reconcile after an argument.
The Literary Part
There is no specific timeline how or when mistletoe first was included into Christmas festivities, but its earliest mention seems to come from the work of Charles Dickens in Victorian England, and Washington Irving, author of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow in America. Dickens mentions kissing under the mistletoe in The Pickwick Papers.
Washington Irving wrote in the 1800s, about mistletoe in his collection of essays called “The Sketch Book of Geoffrey Crayon, Gent,” where he described English Christmas traditions including the practice of kissing under the mistletoe; this is considered the primary source for popularizing the custom in the United States. “Young men have the privilege of kissing the girls under [mistletoe], plucking each time a berry from the bush. When the berries are all plucked the privilege ceases.”: “good manners allow kissing beneath a branch of mistletoe only while berries are still on the plant. Each time someone steals a kiss, they are supposed to remove a berry. Anyone so rash as to try a kiss beneath a berryless frond of mistletoe is out of line.”
Kissing under the mistletoe was included in the drawings in the first book version of A Christmas Carol, which was released in 1843, and may have helped popularize the practice. Before a person could be kissed, a berry off a sprig of Mistletoe was chosen, and once all the berries had been picked, there could be no more kissing!
The Victorians decorated their homes with kissing balls, or kissing boughs, which were made from trimmed evergreen, ribbon, ornaments, and mistletoe. The rule was that if a young woman was caught standing under one of these boughs, she couldn’t refuse a kiss, or else she wouldn’t get married the following year. It was also customary that a berry was plucked from the ball with each kiss that occurred underneath it.
Modern Day
The burning of bonfires is still related to the midsummer collecting of mistletoe in various parts of Europe. Mistletoe was previously thought to have both magical and therapeutic capabilities. Later, the custom of kissing beneath the mistletoe emerged in England, and later in the United States, an action that was originally thought would lead to marriage.
Today, there is a much more lighthearted approach to the tradition. Although many couples simply just kiss when caught standing under it, there is actually a proper etiquette dating back to ancient times about kissing under the mistletoe. The gentleman should pluck one white berry while kissing the lady on the cheek. One kiss is allowed for each berry.
Despite its romantic reputation, mistletoe is actually poisonous and toxic to humans. It contains a toxic substance called phoratoxin, which is particularly concentrated in the leaves. If you’re decorating with it, keep it away from pets and children.